Like most women, I love to-do lists. They give such a sense of control and focus. The charge I get with crossing to-dos off the list is so great, that sometimes my first item is to make a list. Check!
My problem, however, is that I can never find my lists. They exist all over the place – on restaurant napkins, old envelopes, the back side of meeting notes, at the bottom of my purse, in my glove compartment, or beneath the perma-paper layer on my desk.
Lists are linear, and I am not a linear thinker. My ideas tend to radiate outward from a single idea, sometimes disappearing into the ozone. I’ve been accused of being just ever so slightly ADHD, but then my accuser didn’t get my creativity. I liked it better when my book-publishing consultant, after insisting that I take some kind of personality profile so he would know how to work with me, called me a “shiny object” person. As he explained, “You are the type who picks up every shiny object you see. Problem is, with every new object, you risk dropping the ones you already have.”
Clearly I need the discipline of lists, without sacrificing my creative flair to their linear tyranny. So I have given a lot of thought to the ways lists can be made to work for busy multi-taskers (in other words, for most women). Of the dozens of shiny ideas I came up with on this subject, I managed to hold on to the following:
- Expand your list to include not just the urgent, but also the important.
Too often, our lists consist just of what we must do, right now. These urgent items cannot be omitted: if we don’t sign the permission slip for the field trip or get the oil changed, we risk the consequences of future breakdowns, whether of the emotional or the mechanical variety.
But step back from the daily grind for a minute and think about what is important to you. Writing a book? Taking a course? Putting in a garden? These are things that don’t necessarily need to be done NOW, but will nevertheless give you far more satisfaction when they are accomplished than the urgent stuff.
- For your each of your “important” items, identify a first step that is manageable and can be done today.
Unfortunately the important things often never get done, because they are large, aspirational, and have no time constraints. So decide on the very first, concrete step that must be taken on your way to accomplishing that important goal. It may involve making a phone call, setting up an appointment with a professional, or staking out regular time on your calendar. Get the ball rolling today, and the momentum of that first step may propel you past your inertia.
- Eliminate any and all items that don’t “belong” to you.
“What are you talking about?” you ask. “If it’s on my list, of course it’s mine.” Maybe not. Take a good critical look at your list, and see if there are any to-dos listed, not because you want or need to do them, but because you think you should. Some obvious examples might be “Go on a diet” or “Put more into my 401(k)” or “Pay off my credit card.” All these may be worthy actions to undertake, but until you can express and view them as something you desire, they are doomed to reappear on your lists forever, with little purpose except to make you feel bad. One way to transform these items is to ask of each one: “Why?” “Because I want to be healthy. Because I want to be able to enjoy my retirement. Because I want to be able to choose how I spend next month’s paycheck.” Again, this is another way of enlarging your list, to give full berth to what you want to do and be.
- Share your list.
One way to get things accomplished is to delegate – an activity that many women find difficult or awkward. There may be items on your list that must be done or you want done, but there’s no to-do list law that says it has to be you who does them. This is primarily applicable to the urgent items – who else can help you tick these things off?
But another way of sharing your list – particularly the important items – is to find a trusted friend, or circle of intimates, who are willing to help you — and those items on your list – get moving. As incentive, there is nothing like having to be accountable to those who care about you.
You’ll note that this blog is virtually free, for once, of financial ideas and tips. (They’re on a piece of paper somewhere, probably in my gym bag…) But it is all about building your confidence and control – both necessary requisites for smart management of your money.
Click below to follow the Women’s Worth community on Facebook.
