Peg Downey, CFP® :: Directions For Women

Peg Downey, CFP®

caring for our own

April 9th, 2012

America is aging! Not big news to most of us, but the consequences may be surprising.

57% of Americans older than 65 have said they are “very” or “extremely” likely to remain in their current homes during retirement. But who is going to care for them?

One of my youngest friends in our crowd announced at dinner the other night that she is going to start a home for all of us who are older. Then she — with her background in gerontology, and another younger friend who’s a social worker — will take care of us while also creating a second career when she retires.

She was joking, but the idea is sound. At the American Society on Aging Conference last week I posed myself a question on the first day, “With an aging population, who is going to be taking care of us in our old age?” On the last day, the plenary session summarizing the conference posed this same question. And then I got my answer. We are.

We will be creating different housing arrangements, modifying our homes or building new places using principals of universal design. We may well still be working, even if only part-time. We can become care managers, bill-payers, drivers, grocery shoppers — providing all the services that many adults need. In fact, we might ourselves need some services – like driving and shopping — but still be able to provide others such as bill-paying, therapy, care managing.

This conference made something very clear to me; financial advisors need to start addressing this issue now. All of our clients, but especially with women (who tend to live an average of seven years longer than men), should begin talking about these issues and they need our help making plans … not just for how they will get care but also how they may be able to stretch the income they will have by supplementing it with part-time work giving care. Such an approach might be encouraging to those who have seen their portfolios plummet and who have begun to fear becoming bag ladies. Our futures can be filled with both getting and giving. This is an effective way for advisors to begin changing the conversation.

What does it mean to “change the conversation around women and money?” Click here to read more from our blog.

Categories Retirement, Women and Finance
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when monopoly mimics reality

by Peg Downey, CFP®

February 29th, 2012

As a kid, one of the lessons I learned from many intense Monopoly sessions was if you own property and rent it out, you will make money. And the more valuable the property, the more you can rent it out for, and thus the more money you’ll make.

I’ve seen my grandson learning the same lessons as he has played one of the many versions of Monopoly that he owns–Beatles Monopoly, Fantasy Baseball Monopoly, Yankees world Champions Monopoly, and regular Monopoly. (Never mind what he is learning about making money by selling the same thing in many different guises!).

But we both had a new learning experience recently when we played his newest version–Electronic Banking Monopoly. This version comes with a little calculator that’s like a bank and credit card combined…it keeps track of all your liquid assets (no more bills in different colors to line up along your edge of the Board!). When you have to pay rent, it’s a quick swipe and your assets are automatically switched over to the property owner’s account. If you’re the one getting the rent, it automatically switches to your account without ever passing through your hands.

Want to buy a house? You have to check with the bank about the amount of your cash available (no more counting up the bills in front of you to see if there will be any left over for the built up properties you may soon land on or the penalty you may have to pay to get out of jail!).

No more seeing your stash increase as you earn $200 for going past “Go”.

No more counting out the bills to see how many fives you need to pay the rent.

No more keeping track of what your neighbors have just by looking at what’s in front of them. If they keep spending, you have to figure they have plenty.

But, we learned some very important truths:

It is difficult to know what you own and what you owe if it all happens automatically.

It is misleading to conclude that people who are spending MUST have more money than you.

It is much less fun not to have a clear picture of your available assets. In fact, it was nerve wracking. And disempowering because it was hard to plan.

We learned our lesson and went back to playing basic Monopoly!

~~~

P.S. In our real lives — a society driven by credit — it is even harder tracking what we own and what we owe, but we must if we want to take control of our finances.

Some useful resources:

American Association of Daily Money Managers at www.aadmm.com, an organization providing personal financial or bookkeeping services to those who need it.
Mint.com (www.mint.com) is a free online money organization program that brings all your financial accounts together in one place.
Or, if you would rather keep your financial status offline, you can purchase Quickbooks for your computer, cost is $183.

Nonetheless, as with the Monopoly game, it seems it should be easier than it used to be with all the computer tracking available. But I find there’s an emotional component missing when we go completely digital and for some of us, paper and pen may well still be the way to go.

Categories Women and Finance
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this generation is leaving Neverland

by Peg Downey, CFP®

January 26th, 2012

You know how we love an inspirational story! Well, this one has true fairy tale quality, but with a slightly different ending, as the princess rides her own horse into the sunset. It’s the story of Syble Solomon, who happens to be our next webinar presenter on February 13. She’s come a long way and is now changing the conversation between women and money.

“The first time I sat down with a financial advisor I was 41 — and it was a big step for me. Although my husband and I discussed our investments, I felt incompetent and took no responsibility for decision-making. I was caught in Neverland — sounding assertive like a modern woman, while acting out my role as Cinderella, letting Prince Charming rescue me and take care of our finances. Old messages are hard to shake!

“Our financial advisor sat at our kitchen table and addressed all his comments to my husband. He rarely made eye contact with me, and his tone implied that my questions and input were inconsequential. In response to his dismissiveness, I sat there silently like a good girl and didn’t confront him. I’m sure his actions were unconscious. He never would have believed his behavior unless it had been caught on ‘Candid Camera.’

“Years later, I decided that blooming late was better than not blooming at all, so I set out on my own to find a financial advisor. Whether attending introductory meetings or meeting one-on-one, it felt like the advisors were trying to convince me with their graphs and numbers that this was all too complicated for me to understand. Not a good start for someone who wants to feel in control!”*

Spurred on by these initial experiences, Syble Solomon long ago left Neverland and became an executive coach and speaker about the psychology of money. She now routinely recommends that her coaching clients work with a financial advisor. “Money is a metaphor for life,” she writes, and when people feel comfortable and confident about the way they manage their money, they feel more comfortable and confident in their life.” Syble is the creator of Money Habitudes™, the deck of cards used by financial advisors, consultants and counselors to identify how our relationship with money can support and sabotage our life and financial goals.

Advisors: We encourage you to learn more about the money psychology of women and join us for Syble’s webinar, when she’s nodding “yes,” but meaning “no” on February 13.

For more about Syble and her company, visit her website www.moneyhabitudes.com.

* Excerpted from Syble’s article How to attract and retain women clients.

Categories Financial Confidence, Women and Finance
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resources are the new dollar

by Peg Downey, CFP®

June 21st, 2011

Recently I realized that I had been ignoring two of my very best clients–that would be my daughter Colleen and my son-in-law Matt. As I told Matt, a doctor, if he treated his patients the way I had been treating them, they’d all be dead … So, we had an “official” planning meeting with filled-out forms, a pile of documents, the works.

I should add that Colleen and Matt are parents of my favorite (and only) granddaughter, Casey, age 15. She is, as I am sure any grandparent already knows, brilliant, lovely, talented, and surely a find for any college that ultimately has her as a student. But the result of our official meeting showed us all that current household finances were likely to limit her college choices. Between now and then her folks needed to ratchet up the college savings account!

I laid out the numbers for them and what I saw as the potential options, with the emphasis on changing spending to free up funds for savings–something that probably suggested they’d never be able to have fun until Casey finished school. We left it there, with them to think about. The next thing I knew, I had a happy and excited call from my daughter. No–no lottery winnings! But almost as good. They recognized they could reorganize how they used the space in their house, thereby freeing up a bedroom, bath and living space that could be rented out. In the magical way these things sometimes happen, the rent they are able to get matches almost exactly the amount needed for the college fund.

It was a very creative solution that actually has made the rest of their space much more practical, and they all love it. What they had done was look at all their assets, not just their dollars and cents, to figure out how to maximize their wellbeing. As we say at Directions, “Resources – they’re the new dollar.”

Think about it, what are some of your resources?

Categories Women and Finance
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It’s a Question of Perspective

by Peg Downey, CFP®

May 15th, 2011

Attending a seder recently, I listened to the hosting Rabbi explain that he believed Jews were the originators of special education.

He explained that the portion of a seder where questions are asked by four very different sons–the wise, the simple, the wicked and the young–are then answered by four different answers that speak to the differing places the sons are coming from; that the answers are the embodiment of special education–recognizing that everyone comes to learn about life from different strengths, experiences, and needs. And the answers we hope will reach these individuals need to be designed to reach different individuals differently

“Wow,” I thought, “changing the conversation.*” Seems we’re part of a long, worthy tradition.

* Click here to read our blog, “What does it mean to ‘change the conversation?’”

Categories Women and Finance
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Celebrating Women

by Peg Downey, CFP®

April 6th, 2011

Women’s History Month ended with March, but at my home, I celebrate the accomplishments of great women year round.

If you were to stay in my guest bedroom, you would be surrounded by reminders of the 1970’s–1980’s Women’s Movement in this country. Along with a comfy bed and your own bath, you’d find:

A green pin with “59c” printed on it

A poster with vertical swatches of different colors looking vaguely like graceful ballerinas

A poster of dark blue, black, and deep bluish purple featuring an African woman in a turban

A large book titled To Form a More Perfect Union; subtitled “Justice for American Women”

Two small clay figurines–male and female–that judging by their state of undress I take to be Adam and Eve

The list goes on, but this representative sampling is enough to stir both my memories and my ire.

The 59 cents? That was the amount women earned for every $1 men earned in 1963. Now we earn 77 cents…an unimpressive 18 cent gain in 48 years! Not even half way to the goal!

The poster? A beautiful reminder of the 1977 Houston Women’s Conference entitled “American Women on the Move,” First National Women’s Conference/Sponsored by the United States Commission on the Observance of International Women’s Year. Now when I look at that poster, I notice that the U.S. was “observing” a year…and that the 26 items in the Plan of Action generated by the conference attendees still require action:equal pay; affordable and accessible child care; prevention of domestic violence; ratification of the Equal Rights amendment; inclusion of birth control in health care plans. Yes, some progress has been made. Discrimination in lending has been largely eliminated; we have Title IX (along with on-going efforts to weaken it); there’s more work being done using gender based analysis; and there are some laws on prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. But there is still much work to be done to improve the status of women, such as legislation to provide homemakers with Social Security benefits, consistent prosecution and adequate punishment for rape crimes; and unisex tables for medical insurance benefits.

The gorgeous deep blue/black/purple poster? It’s entitled “Rasta Queen” advertising the 1980 “Women’s Art from Developing Countries” show held during the International Women’s Year Conference in Copenhagen. I remember one of the major issues addressed at that conference was the genital mutilation of women.

The book? That was published by our very own government. It was the “Report of the Observance of International Women’s Year,” 1976. Like the poster, it’s a reminder to me of more miles to go.

The figurines? Here, at least, is something to smile about! Cute happy , pudgy shapes with clearly apparent sexual characteristics. I purchased them from some Latin American women who cared so much about their rights, and those of all women, that they were selling them in Copenhagen to help pay for their attendance at the conference.

Hooray for women’s optimism, creativity, resourcefulness, talent, persistence! For being half the world’s population but taking care of a far greater proportion! For working at least as hard for (a little more than) half as much! For continuing to support and empower themselves and others!

If you need some inspiration to keep up the good work, come visit me! The inspiring women in my guest room await you..

Categories Women work
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Applying My Archetypes

by Peg Downey, CFP®

March 18th, 2011

My Aunt Nan ran the local newspaper, having taken it over at the death of her husband. It was a small town paper, so being editor was a powerful spot to be in. The job was also demanding and time consuming, often with late nights and early mornings to meet the deadline for the once-a-week paper run. Aunt Nan also had a modest but very comfortable home that I loved to visit…and my Mom often sent me there when things were too tense at home. One of the fascinations at Aunt Nanʼs was a FULL ROOM packed with books … all the walls, floor to ceiling, solid books! Aunt Nan would let six or seven year-old me borrow any book I wanted.

Truth be told though, Aunt Nanʼs book selections were usually beyond me. Also, sad to say, in this small town kids were not allowed to have library cards until they were in high school. So when I turned eight, Aunt Nan simply walked me to the library and told the Head Librarian I should be given a library card. The librarian had me promise to always return the books on time…then gave me the card. I used that card to inhale anything that was even close to being age-appropriate, including about four full shelves of fairy tales (A Russian Grandmotherʼs Fairy Tales, A Chinese Grandmotherʼs Fairy Tales, An Irish Grandmotherʼs … you get the picture.)

Many years ago, one of Nan’s second-distant-umptyump-times-removed relatives was widowed and ran out of funds. Her name was Ownie, and despite her financial situation she had resources: family, friends, housekeeping ability, health, and a loving presence. Aunt Nan — then recently widowed and busy assuming the role of newspaper editor — joined the other local resourceful, can-do women who put their heads together to consider Ownieʼs situation. Based upon her strengths and Aunt Nanʼs needs, the women suggested an arrangement. From then on, Aunt Nanʼs beautiful old home was maintained by Ownie as a live-in housekeeper. Ownie washed the dishes, baked cookies, mixed the yellow food coloring into the white oleo … and generally kept the home fires burning.

When I think back on my fairy-tale reading youth, Aunt Nan and Ownie, I recognize that all the fairy tales were archetypal–telling the same stories book after book, merely changing details like the names, the weather, the type of plants–but always containing wisdom about womenʼs roles and how women made their way in the world. In their purest sense, these archetypes embody truths about women that transcend their varying interpretations by different generations, civilizations, and even religions. They may appear as pagan divinities, animals, Biblical figures, Shakespearean heroines, but at their core they represent a quintessential feminine energy.

The Goddess Athena

From an archetypal perspective, I recognize my story was partly shaped by the characteristics of several Greek goddesses. Aunt Nan was Athena, the goddess of wisdom and craft, the logical, self-assured woman who is ruled by her head rather than her heart. Ownie was Hestia, goddess of the hearth, the patient and steady woman who finds comfort in solitude and exudes a sense of intactness and wholeness.

My Mom was Demeter, the maternal archetype (of course), representing a womanʼs drive to provide physical and spiritual sustenance for her children. At that point I was Persephone, a maiden, expressing a womanʼs tendency toward compliancy, passivity, a need to please and be wanted, and often “protected” from experience that carries so much as a hint of risk.

Then, too, I recognize that an event or a different stage of life can summon different archetypal responses. Athena was called forth from Hestia out of the necessity occasioned by divorce, for example. Hestia herself was reinforced by the resources she mustered by her widowhood. Persephone matured into Demeter by childbearing and then later developed into her own Athena. I recognize too that a chosen course of action can bring forth the necessary strength a particular archetype represents; itʼs a “faking it ʻtil you make it” truth.

Finally I recognize that all our clients have an innate resilience as they draw their strengths from these feminine archetypes. We can support each one of these archetypes, call them forth, honor them … and thus fully empower both our clients and ourselves.

Categories Motherhood, Uncategorized
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