blog :: Directions For Women

Credit Card Strategy – 101

August 23rd, 2011

How high is your household debt ceiling?

It’s been hard to avoid reading about the ever-increasing size of the federal deficit and various ideas about what to do about it. Most of us don’t have any direct influence over decisions made in Washington, but what about our own personal spending and the height of our household debt ceiling? This kind of spending we can control, and when we recognize a problem, we can choose our response.

Of course, overspending is closely tied to credit card debt. The level of credit card debt in the United States has actually decreased during the past few years of financial crisis and sluggish recovery. But credit cards still play an enormous role in the financial life of most households. According to a Federal Reserve Bank survey, Americans hold almost 610 million credit cards, more than three per household. The typical American gets a first credit card at the age of 20, often while still in college, living at home, or not employed full time. The average credit card debt carried by households with a revolving balance currently is $14,750. In addition, of course, there is often a mortgage, auto, or student loan debt.

Good Debt versus Not-So-Good Debt

Debt is actually a double-edged sword: it can be either a positive or a negative influence on your financial well-being. Good debt includes sensible financing for a purchase that will outlast the duration of the loan and provide positive leverage in a way that gets you more bang for your buck. For instance, a home mortgage can allow you to enjoy your home (which should last longer than the term of the loan), allow you to build equity, and give you a mortgage interest income tax deduction. Likewise, a three-year auto loan for a fuel-efficient vehicle can provide positive leverage if you use it for employment and increased earning potential.

But what about using credit cards to pay for dinner out, or for a spur-of-the-moment Caribbean vacation, or a latte every morning on the way to the office? If you’ve been lugging a balance around for years while making only the minimum payment, you might want to think about where your choices are leading you. Now that issuers are required to disclose the long-term effects of making only the minimum payment, it’s a lot harder for those of us with spending issues to pretend we’re not aware of what we’re doing. It can be more than a little sobering to see just how much our fleeting pleasures are going to cost us down the road if we fail to adjust our habits.

Controlling Spending

If you’re living in a household that perpetually carries a credit card balance or you sometimes feel you’re at risk of heading in that direction, what are some ways to patch the cracks in your financial foundation and improve your peace of mind going forward?

Focus on savings. Setting money aside upfront to use for a vacation or other desired discretionary purchase can help reduce the temptation to use credit card financing to give yourself the reward you feel you deserve. Watching the vacation or other fund accumulate can bring its own satisfaction.

Use cash. More than one study has shown that consumers who use a credit card buy more than those who use cash. Give yourself an allotment of cash to spend each week and see how clever you can be in maximizing the value you receive for that amount.

Pay off the highest rates first. Make a list of your credit card debts and the corresponding interest rates. Focus your strategy on paying as much as possible toward the balance with the highest rate while making the minimum payments on the others.

Track the small stuff. Keep receipts for every expense or a journal of the amounts you spend on discretionary purchases. It’s hard to cut back, and easy to deceive yourself, if you don’t know exactly where your money goes.

Share responsibility. Knowing that money stress hurts marriages and other partnerships, sit down together to set a spending strategy. Teach children the rewards of sound financial habits (the Money Savvy Generation website, www.msgen.com, has great resources such as the Money Savvy Pig for youngsters and the Cash Cache for teenagers as well as materials for parents and teachers).

Freeze the cards. If you can’t bear to cut up your credit cards but still need a serious change, freeze the cards in a block of ice. You know they’re there if you really need them, but you can only use them with foresight and planning.

Don’t let dysfunctional spending get a grip on your household. If consumer debt is using you rather than the other way around, say “no” to the plastic and reward yourself with financial peace of mind.

Click here to learn more about Claire Emory.

Categories Personal Finance for Women
Comments (0)

an advisor is like a great pair of shoes

by Eleanor Blayney

August 16th, 2011

"Like a great pair of shoes, the best advisory relationship has to fit without pinching, has to make you feel good and stand tall, and has to carry you exactly where you want to go."

For those of us considering hiring a financial advisor, there is a bit of mystery – and maybe even pressure – in finding “the one.” After all, the goal is for this engagement to become a long-term relationship that is successful in achieving your goals. The problem is we may not understand how to get the best results from a financial planning engagement, or what results we might reasonably expect.

At a Directions-led circle of financial advisors discussing our experiences with women clients, one participant summed it up as follows: “It seems my very best and my very worst clients are women.” Why are women so polarized on an advisor’s client list, taking up both the best and worst spots? We believe every woman has what it takes to be successful in her finances and in her relationship with an advisor.

So which clients enjoy the most mutually fulfilling relationships with their advisors? More importantly, how can you get the most out of your relationship with a financial planner or advisor?

Here’s what you’d hear from advisors themselves:

Become part of a winning team. Think about it, what does it take to win? Diligence. Clear goals. An understanding between teammates. Mutual respect. If you are one of the many women who tend to be prefer collaboration over working alone, you may be just the client an advisor is looking for.

Understand the true value a financial professional provides. If you are an inveterate bargain shopper who uses price as the primary criterion in a purchase decision, then you are likely to be either shocked by the fees for comprehensive planning and advice, or very disappointed when you get only what you are willing to pay for: ie., a service of little to no value. There are unfortunately no knock-offs when it comes to good financial advice, and the real value is oftentimes in avoiding costly, even ruinous mistakes, as opposed to getting a deal. There is value, too, in the accessibility of the advisor and the continuity of the advice over time.

Don’t mistake investment performance as a reliable indicator of an advisor’s value. How you feel about your finances when working with an advisor is a far better measure. A sense of confidence that the advisor is helping you to make good financial decisions, keeping you informed, and “has your back” in times of financial crisis is worth much more than an extra ½ percent of return over a benchmark.

You’re the boss – after all, it’s your money and financial life. But this doesn’t mean your advisor should do all the work, no matter how much you dislike anything to do with money. Some women hire advisors the way they might hire a cleaning person or lawn service: they don’t want to be there or get involved to get the work done. But good financial advisors are more like personal trainers or coaches than they are like contractors: they can help you get into and maintain financial fitness, but only if you participate. You must, in other words, show up! Show up for meetings. Speak up in those meetings, even if you are there with a partner who is the designated driver of your finances. Do the necessary homework, whether it’s finding important records, or following through on a referral to an attorney or insurance agent. Ask for the necessary context and explanations so you are able to understand the alternatives presented to you, rather than letting the advisor do whatever he or she thinks best. Just as you cannot delegate away the responsibility for your physical health, you cannot let someone else do all the work of keeping you financially healthy.

Speak up, early and often, about what you need from your advisor, what you want, what you like and don’t like, and how you want to be treated. Do you need more education in order to be involved in the decision-making? Ask for it. Do you want to be called before an investment transaction is made? Say so. Would you like to meet your advisor at your home, rather than at the office? Suggest this alternative. Do you find email messages overwhelming and annoying? Tell your advisor to phone you, and give the best times for doing so. In most cases, your advisor will be happy to accommodate you, if it makes for a better, more productive relationship. Whatever you do, don’t avoid bringing up a problem when it occurs. Advisors need and want that feedback on what makes for happy clients.

Be prepared for your meetings with your advisor, and try to keep them within a reasonable time frame. Make notes beforehand of what you wish to talk about, and read any materials or reports you have been sent ahead of time. Tell your advisor what you would like to focus on during the meeting, as opposed to making him or her guess what the best agenda will be. Decide with the advisor at the start of the meeting, or beforehand, how long the meeting should be, and keep to that timeline. It’s better to ask for a follow-up meeting, if needed, than to let the discussion go for too long.

There’s a matchmaker instinct in all of us: women love to put the right people together and watch good things happen. Ask your advisor what kinds of clients he or she likes to work with, and if possible, be a source of referrals to individuals who fit this profile. This kind of goodwill gesture is deeply appreciated by advisors, the best of whom are not marketers or sales people, but great consultants. You have a vested interest in your advisor’s professional success, since it means that he or she will be around to guide you for a long time.

But at the end of day, you must trust your woman’s intuition about the status and value of the advisory relationship. You may be doing everything you can to be a great client, but still not feeling appreciated or well-served. It’s time to move on, being sure to tell yourself it’s not you. Chalk it up to chemistry or style, but do not feel diminished. Like a great pair of shoes, the best advisory relationship has to fit without pinching, has to make you feel good and stand tall, and has to carry you exactly where you want to go.

Categories Finding a financial planner
Comments (2)

mirror, mirror on the wall …

by Julia Speer

August 10th, 2011

Last night I attended a local networking event. It was a smaller group of about 16 women. The venue had a peaceful vibe, and I enjoy meeting new women. But I’m writing this piece because there was something I noticed that nagged at me as the night went on. I first perked up my ears during early introductions as I heard 3-4 women laughingly make mirror references. Most of the comments were about intentionally avoiding looking at themselves in the mirror, or doing it very quickly, if they had to. The implied message was that they couldn’t stand looking at themselves in the mirror because didn’t like what they saw.

Much of the talk for the remainder of the evening was about products and discoveries related to health and longevity. That’s a good thing, right? But something was buggin’ me. Later in the evening as I stood ready to leave, women saying their goodbyes and closing conversations, it finally came to me. I was hearing a deep underlying message that said we are not okay the way we are. We (women) must continue to seek out products, remedies, solutions to alter and yes even hide our age. I had the sense that it was a deeply unconscious message, but there none-the-less. If I can find the best creams, the best vitamins, the best anti-aging treatments and put all I can find to work on improving me, then I will be acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in good health. I want to live a long, vibrant, radiantly alive life. But where is the line drawn? What drives my motivation? Am I driven by a desire to look and be different because on some level I believe I am not acceptable as I am? Why is it that so many women cannot bear to look, and I mean really look at themselves in the mirror? I’ll tell you why. It’s because they cannot bear what they see. And why not? Because we are told over and over again from culture and media alike that we are not okay as we are. We are supposed to look a certain way, and it is a very narrow margin.

So yes, I want to feel good in this body I have right now. Not the body I will have. I want to own these lines on my face. They mean something important. I want to treat them with value. Imagine that.

These lines represent the life I’ve lived; the joy and the struggles. The struggles have been great discovery times for me. They are part of what makes me the incredible, vibrant, radiant woman that I am. Yeah, I just said that. Out loud. I say it proud.

The extra fat deposits on my hips and my arms are soft and curvy and FEMININE. These fatty curves are juicy and full. They represent my juicy and full life. Slap my ass and it jiggles. I point with momentum in a sleeveless shirt, and my arm waves with me. When I walk up the asphalt road in my neighborhood, I feel my tummy jiggle with the impact of my feet on the pavement.

One of Julia Speer's original paintings

When do I get to love ALL of me? When are we as women going to model for the rest of the world what it looks like to be “a woman like that”, a woman who knows who she is and doesn’t try to cover it, change it, improve upon it because SHE IS ENOUGH. Women are the ones who need to lead this radical movement, this kind of radical self-acceptance.

My husband is attending a film festival in California. He saw a film while he was there called I Know a Woman Like That. He said it was an incredible film about women in their 70’s who are vibrantly alive and passionate and beautiful. Women who are living their lives perhaps even more fully now than when they were 40 or 30 or 20. Afterwards he talked to one of the women involved in the making of the film. He told her how much he enjoyed the film and spoke to its powerful message. Then he said, “I’m 36. My wife is 53 and she is a woman like that.” When he told me that, I shrieked and cried. I felt such joy and gratitude. Do you know why I felt such joy? Because it’s true! I am a woman like that. I felt gratitude because I can allow myself to know it and he knows it. How brilliantly awesome is that?!

Do you know a woman like that? Are you a woman like that? A woman who is vibrantly alive… a woman who is radiant. A woman full of soul. A woman bawdy, laughing, inhabiting her body in this moment as it is. A woman who wears her years proudly, unabashedly. A woman who can look into her own eyes and love, truly love, what she sees. This is a woman who inspires social change. I invite you to be that woman. Make no excuses. Love who you are, exactly as you are right now. No dress rehearsals. This is it. Do it now.

To find out more about Julia Speer, her artwork, and her events for women, visit her website.

Categories Women and confidence
Comments (2)

circles – listen to others, understand ourselves

by Elizabeth Jetton CFP®

July 27th, 2011

I am starting to hear from a number of you about leading “money and personal finance” circles for women: clients, friends, centers of influence and prospects. We’ll begin a series of webinars on the circle process and topics starting in September, but I thought I would share some stories and ideas in the meantime.

First of all I must always honor those who introduced me and trained me well in the process of facilitating and participating in meaningful circle conversations, Christina Baldwin and Anne Linnea. Through their books and company, PeerSpirit, these two women have brought this ancient and wise form of leadership, governance and community building to the 21st century. They even worked with the FPA board early in its forming. The FPA board actually holds its board meetings in part, meeting in circle.

One of the profound aspects of circle is that we get to hear our own voice, our own emerging thoughts. As we speak, we begin to understand ourselves. As we listen to others, we understand ourselves. Realizations occur. Forgiveness occurs. Hope and encouragement unfolds.

One thing is key: EVERYONE in the circle must show up as herself! Not as your job, your profession, your “I wish this were me” self. Even if you have centers of influence, they must come as “they are”, not as what they do! You as the facilitator and host must be a participant as well. You can’t stand back from the rest. This is what distinguishes this process and makes it such a safe, unique environment for women to talk about money and learn. It’s the, “we are all in this together.”

Here are some great resources:

The Circle Way: A Leader in Every Chair (BK Business) by Christina Baldwin, Ann Linnea and Margaret Wheatley (Paperback – Mar 12, 2010
Calling the Circle: The First and Future Culture by Christina Baldwin (Paperback – Mar 2, 1998
A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life by Parker J. Palmer (Paperback – Jun 2, 2009
The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and The World–The Essential Guide to Women’s Circles by Jean Shinoda Bolen

We’ll be building in resources for you, to help guide you as you try circles and continue them. Share your stories with us as you go out there, courageously changing the conversation!

Categories Women and Finance
Comments (2)

what can archetypes do for you?

by Roberta Goldbaugh, CFP®

July 13th, 2011

Some of you may be wondering “What the heck to archetypes have to do with personal finance?” Apparently, a lot. We asked one of our Directions subscribers, Roberta Goldbaugh, CFP® to talk about what she learned when she invited Dr. Damron to participate in a women’s circle.

In our April circle, we were lucky to have Bonnie Damron join us and share a fairy tale and its interpretation. As we all sat spell bound, Bonnie wove a story about a young woman who lost her father and her fortune, set out on her life’s journey, and eventually discovered her destiny and her own strength.

Mandala - representing a sacred space where inner truths are revealed

Then Bonnie interpreted the story for us, explaining what each component of the story represented, what pattern appears in this classic tale, what universal challenges are represented by the pattern in this story. Each of the circle members listened to hear herself in that story, and wished that we could hear Bonnie share a whole book full of stories and their interpretations.

In financial planning we already capture our client’s story, because — after all — that is really the heart of the work. As a society, our myths, fairy tales and classic stories hold universal experiences, challenges, and victories experienced by humankind over the centuries. If I can identify the pattern in the client’s story, and lead her to the discovery of the related universal story, I believe my clients will experience more clarity, more confidence and will be better equipped to succeed in their financial (and other) goals.

Delving into mythology and ancient stories prompted us to schedule our next circle topic, the recognition and importance of feminine traits. But that is for another blog …

For more details, or to register for Bonnie’s webinar on July 27, click here.

Categories Women and Finance
Comments (0)

rich harvest from “under the trees”

by Eleanor Blayney

July 4th, 2011

-Directions held its first Under the Trees conference call with approximately 30 advisors on June 29. We were piloting a new conference call platform called MaestroConference which allows participants to convene virtually in a main conference “room,” then breakout into separate discussions of their choosing.

We believe this technology permits us, as advisors, to practice what we are promoting in our interactions with women clients: namely, creating an open, interactive conversation into which each participant can bring the most important issues on her mind.

Prior to the call, we asked participants to send us the topics they wished to discuss with others in the Directions community. These were the topics nominated:

Prospecting and “closing the loop” with women clients
How to provide educational content to women
What can we do together as a Directions community to help us individually in our work with women?
What are the generational differences we observe in our women clients?
How to use social media in outreach to women

Elizabeth Jetton was our facilitator for the call, and set out the suggested parameters for the break-out room discussions, including choosing a scribe for each room to take notes. Participants then “raised” their hands to indicate the discussion they wished to participate in. Topic 1, on prospecting and closing, attracted the majority of participants; accordingly the discussion was broken down into sub-groups. There was only one taker for the social media discussion, so this participant was asked to join another room. It was, however, acknowledged that social media is an important topic, as it is being used in increasing numbers by women, but poses compliance challenges to advisors. Directions is planning to host an advisor webinar on this subject.

After spending approximately 25 minutes in the discussions, participants then returned to the main conference room, where the scribes summarized their discussions. Here is the full harvest of ideas, suggestions, and comments that came out of the conversations:

Topic: How to find women prospects and close the loop

“We dove right into the heart of the issue – how do you get a prospect to take the next step? We all felt we could get the prospects in front of us, we need a process, comment, nudge to help them to commit or at least get off the fence.”

“It was acknowledged that closing the loop with women clients is difficult because they are so busy with careers and families. Many have the will, but just can’t seem to follow through. The discussion then turned to prospecting ideas.”

“We all realize that we do know much more than people who are not in this field. The concepts that may seem simple to us can be very helpful to these groups; in other words, our presentations probably do not need to be very elaborate.”

“Questions were raised on how to reach affluent women, and how to extend our reach geographically.”

“The following efforts have been tried by various members of the group with varying degrees of success.

1. Joining NAWBO (Nat’l Association of Women Business Owners) and networking with other members. Distribute flyers to members inviting them to circle groups. Good feedback. Participants have come with questions they need answered. Discussion has then tended to focus around these questions.

2. Monthly circle group conversations at a local restaurant (separate private room). Invitations sent to personal friends and COIs. Uses EventBrite for registrations and reminders.

3. Circle group meeting at an establishment that offers yoga classes, massages, and sells related product.

4. Obtaining the CDFA certification – this helps to bring in clients who are needing help through this transition. Some become longer-term clients.

5. Connecting with women’s groups at church – these gatherings may get started when someone at church asks for financial education. A topic will arise that leads to a seminar or a series that she leads; participation is good because the participants are already in a space they consider safe.

6. Marketing to attorneys who practice collaborative law with women in divorce. Offer to act as the financial professional on the team. Attorneys can be found by searching the Collaborative Law Institute in your State.

7. After work Wine, Women and Wealth events. Unwind with a glass of wine and some munchies first, followed by a short presentation or fun exercise, and then circle conversation.

“Take-aways gleaned from the conversation were:

Continue the soft touches we currently do
Have a stronger conversation using the phrase that we feel we are doing you a disservice by not advising you in the proper direction. You are at great risk if some actions are not taken soon. Whether you choose our firm or another reliable advisor, the following issues need your attention.
We use a very soft touch approach – some people need more.
We talked about the need to be nurturing, particularly for women going through a difficult transition such as a divorce or the loss of a spouse. It’s important to create an environment in which women can feel comfortable expressing themselves and to allow them time to heal.

“It felt as though the discussion barely got started before we were asked to finish up. Next time you may want to consider giving a few more minutes to those Chatty Cathies of the group. ”

“Perhaps we could have divided our topic into two groups – one to discuss prospecting and the other to discuss closing the loop.”

Topic: Providing educational content to women

There were two participants in this discussion. One participant has

“been holding a monthly 1 1/4 hour breakfast meeting for women, open to the public, her clients, and her prospects. Over the last year she has had many folks become regulars–including a woman who drives 3 hours to get there! Coffee and muffins are served, the meeting starts with an ice breaker, and then she (or a guest) does a presentation (cash flow, debt management, estate planning, taxes, etc.) followed by a discussion where the attendees share their experiences around the topic.”

She then “blogs about the sessions, lists them on her website, mentions them during her weekly TV appearance, and works at social marketing–but still would like to reach more potential attendees. She has also had the interesting experience of one attendee bringing two other women to the meetings, both of whom have since become clients, but the original woman still has not!”

“We talked about ways to structure the sessions in line with Directions‘ belief that women need to become empowered before they can become engaged…primarily through more personal conversations amongst the attendees.”

Topic: What can we do as a community to help us individually?

We “discussed our efforts to bring women together for presentations or circles <and> expressed again the desire to have new, different kinds of templates for presentations and materials.”

“It’s hard to get women engaged. Circles focusing on empowerment, before providing education, are a good way to engage women.”

“We would like Directions-branded material, since many advisors are asked to speak to women’s groups.”

“Based on one participant’s experience of trying the circle, participants expressed more comfort and interest in how to do that. They would like help with the Invitation, so the Directions’ webinar series on Circles scheduled to begin in August will be well timed. Questions were asked about whether or not to focus on one particular age group or mix them up and how to get women inspired and engaged.”

“Very good conversation. The group agreed they would like to be able to continue the conversation.”

Topic: Generational differences among women

“One participant, herself a baby-boomer, observed that many women in this generation were involved in feminist movement, and fought for the freedoms (in workplace, etc.) that younger generations take more for granted.”

“There appears to be less gender stereotyping about money management roles among younger women.”

“But the work/childcare issue is still a major problem for younger women; they are still the primary caretakers. Hopefully, more workplace flexibility will make work/life balance easier.”

“What role do we have as advisors helping women understand the financial trade-offs involved in the choices they make about work and caretaking?”

The feedback we received after the call was quite positive, expressing the wish to have more such Under the Trees forums in the future. A quarterly Under the Trees call will be scheduled for Directions subscribers, but we also plan to have other, open calls for all those advisors interested in participating in discussions of interest to the Directions community.

Categories Personal Finance for Women
Comments (0)

resources are the new dollar

by Peg Downey, CFP®

June 21st, 2011

Recently I realized that I had been ignoring two of my very best clients–that would be my daughter Colleen and my son-in-law Matt. As I told Matt, a doctor, if he treated his patients the way I had been treating them, they’d all be dead … So, we had an “official” planning meeting with filled-out forms, a pile of documents, the works.

I should add that Colleen and Matt are parents of my favorite (and only) granddaughter, Casey, age 15. She is, as I am sure any grandparent already knows, brilliant, lovely, talented, and surely a find for any college that ultimately has her as a student. But the result of our official meeting showed us all that current household finances were likely to limit her college choices. Between now and then her folks needed to ratchet up the college savings account!

I laid out the numbers for them and what I saw as the potential options, with the emphasis on changing spending to free up funds for savings–something that probably suggested they’d never be able to have fun until Casey finished school. We left it there, with them to think about. The next thing I knew, I had a happy and excited call from my daughter. No–no lottery winnings! But almost as good. They recognized they could reorganize how they used the space in their house, thereby freeing up a bedroom, bath and living space that could be rented out. In the magical way these things sometimes happen, the rent they are able to get matches almost exactly the amount needed for the college fund.

It was a very creative solution that actually has made the rest of their space much more practical, and they all love it. What they had done was look at all their assets, not just their dollars and cents, to figure out how to maximize their wellbeing. As we say at Directions, “Resources – they’re the new dollar.”

Think about it, what are some of your resources?

Categories Women and Finance
Comments (0)

putting the dollar sign in its place

by Eleanor Blayney

May 31st, 2011

I’ve never learned to speak or read Spanish, but I have always been intrigued by the way the language uses punctuation. In the case of questions or exclamations, the punctuation marks “?” and “!” are inserted, upside down, at the beginning of the sentence. You know right off the bat where the sentence is going, so there is no mistaking the tonal upbeat that should come with the end of the sentence.

In this age of instant messaging, texting, and email, we have lost the guidance of voice or gesture in our communications. All of us have a story of a good message gone bad — where we have sent a quick comment, meant humorously or ironically or benignly, which is completely misconstrued by the recipient. Without a facial expression, or the sound of a smile in our words, our readers are sometimes at a loss as to how to understand our meaning. Into the breach of vocal expression have jumped all sorts of emoticons, smiley and frowning faces, punctuation pictures and abbreviations. The meaning of a simple statement such as “I’m looking forward to seeing Mike tonight,” followed by a LOL, takes a complete 180 when instead you insert : < ( at the end.

There is, however, one sign in our language that provides no clue as to how we should feel about what follows. It’s the dollar sign. Neither upbeat nor downbeat, the $ is tonally neutral. Its only job is to identify a system of currency denomination. Boring…

Or is it? It’s said that nature abhors a vacuum, and so do our emotions. Few of us can resist loading up the money sign with all sorts of affective meanings never intended by this unpretentious symbol. We see the “$” as a good thing, an evil thing; a source of joy, power, status, acceptance; a prison of misery, greed, oppression.

The emotive power that we give to $ can literally stop us in our tracks, unable to move beyond it to what is really important. I, like many women I know, often fix on prices instead of attributes when I shop. The first (and sometimes the only) thing I look at is the $ on the price tag, failing to consider quality or what I really want or need.

It’s important to look at the emotions we bring to the $, so that we can ultimately look through the money to what we really value. In my case, I was raised by parents who were young adults during the Great Depression. Prices of goods were unstable and falling, so it was natural to look closely at costs: Today’s $5 item was likely to cost only $4.50 tomorrow.

I carried this sense of scarcity and extreme price sensitivity into my own adulthood, where it no longer served any useful purpose. My mother’s frugality looked like plain cheapness in me. The irony, however, is that one of my most closely held dreams is to become a philanthropist: sharing wealth with others who need money more than me.

A dollar sign may signal value, in currency terms, but nothing else. It has little to do with the priceless values that govern our lives. Too often, however, we get the two forms of value confused, compromising our principles for prices. For true financial confidence, we need put the $ in its place – as an abbreviation which by itself carries no emotional significance – and consider instead deeper questions of worth.

Categories Personal Finance for Women
Comments (0)

It’s a Question of Perspective

by Peg Downey, CFP®

May 15th, 2011

Attending a seder recently, I listened to the hosting Rabbi explain that he believed Jews were the originators of special education.

He explained that the portion of a seder where questions are asked by four very different sons–the wise, the simple, the wicked and the young–are then answered by four different answers that speak to the differing places the sons are coming from; that the answers are the embodiment of special education–recognizing that everyone comes to learn about life from different strengths, experiences, and needs. And the answers we hope will reach these individuals need to be designed to reach different individuals differently

“Wow,” I thought, “changing the conversation.*” Seems we’re part of a long, worthy tradition.

* Click here to read our blog, “What does it mean to ‘change the conversation?’”

Categories Women and Finance
Comments (0)

Women Wielding Words

by Eleanor Blayney

May 10th, 2011

“The pen is mightier than the sword.” Now there’s an aphorism that shows its age, at least in my experience. Search as I may, I can never get my hands on either implement in times of crisis.

But in its less literal sense, the wisdom of the phrase is still relevant: words can be a powerful weapon, especially in the battle of the budget. Consider for example the word “No!” Uttered in a stern voice, to one’s children or oneself, in the grocery store or in the mall, this one little word can save you bundles.

At times, however, we need to string a few more words together, and put them in writing, to accomplish the same worthy goal.

Very recently, I was reviewing my AMEX business account and noticed a charge for renewing an internet service that I had not, to my recollection, authorized. I asked Candice, my indispensable IT and everything-else person, to look into this and to cancel the renewal, as it was no longer needed. The next thing I know a very curt email lands in my box, saying that no refund can be issued, and reminding me that when I signed up for the service online a year ago, I had authorized an automatic annual renewal. After all, this was “clearly stated” (as in “buried in the fine print”) as the fifth condition of the online contract. Anyone else like me who just checks the “Accept” box without reading all that legal stuff?

An automatic and very loud “NO!” from me sent my bewildered golden retriever scurrying away with her tail between her legs. I was not going to let them get away with this. Absent my sword — which I still could not find — I fired up my keyboard and took aim with a strongly worded email to “Customer Support.”

I will spare you my powerful rhetoric only to say that a BA in English can be handier than an MBA when it comes to scoring a money win. Within the hour, Customer Support capitulated, brandishing a white flag. My money would be refunded.

These “stealth fees” have become epidemic in our recent economy, as everyone is searching for ways to increase revenue. I’ve lost count of the number of times extra cable channels have snuck onto my Verizon bill, only to be unceremoniously expelled in my now monthly phone call to the phone company. The speed with which these fees are eliminated as “errors” upon a word or two from me makes me suspect that they are mistakes only in cases where they are detected. For the untold numbers of subscribers who do not read their phone bills, those fees are probably paying the bonus of some smart management trainee.

In short, words can make a difference to your financial management. Failure to pay attention to the words buried in your bills or the fine print of contracts can cost. On the other hand, the words you use with vendors or service providers can pay. A well-written email, or a carefully prepared phone request, asking them to reconsider the terms of their agreements or refund policies, brings results more often than you might think. I have found the phrase “It may be your policy, but it is not good business,” to be very effective, particularly when delivered to someone at the policy-making level.

Which brings me to my last point about the power of language as a financial management tool: namely, it pays to negotiate the price and terms of just about every service or product that is not a commodity. Negotiation, in turn, takes careful attention to language: to word choice, syntax, timing, and emphasis. It takes thinking through your position, anticipating the response, and creating a compelling counter-offer. It requires, in another words, conviction and skillful communication.

Women are notoriously inept negotiators, not because they are poor communicators, but because they are afraid to ask –- afraid to ask for more pay, for a better deal, for reconsideration of terms. Their eagerness to please can cost them real money. You’ve no doubt heard the saying, “Nice girls finish last”? We should toss than one out, along with our swords, and give currency to another expression:

Articulate women finish first.

Categories Financial Confidence
Comments (0)

« Previous Page

Credit Card Strategy – 101

Good Debt versus Not-So-Good Debt

Controlling Spending

an advisor is like a great pair of shoes

mirror, mirror on the wall …

circles – listen to others, understand ourselves

what can archetypes do for you?

rich harvest from “under the trees”

resources are the new dollar

putting the dollar sign in its place

It’s a Question of Perspective

Women Wielding Words

Search our site

Subscribe to our blog

What were we thinking?

Recent blog posts

Glasses alert- here comes the fine print:

Good Debt versus Not-So-Good Debt

Controlling Spending

Search our site

Blog topics

Subscribe to our blog

What were we thinking?

Recent blog posts

Glasses alert- here comes the fine print: