Here’s Looking at You, Kid!

Do you have a photo of yourself that you really like?  I am not talking about a picture that makes you look good  — younger, slimmer, smoother, less tired than you are now – but a picture that makes you feel good: one that puts you in touch with your own internal strengths and values.

I have one such picture.  It shows me sixteen years ago, running my first and likely only*, Marine Corps Marathon.  Not a flattering picture at all, it shows me at mile 13 of the run, soaking wet in the pouring rain, with baggy knees.  Even I can’t read my face very well: was I triumphant for having reached the halfway point, or dreading the next 13 miles knowing how exhausted I was already?

I was carrying a lot of pain that day, and not just in my feet and knees.  I had recently lost both of my parents within a fifteen month time period, my only child had just left for her freshman year in college, and my husband and I had separated six weeks before.   The roles that had defined me up to that point were gone:  I was no longer a daughter, a wife, or a day-to-day mother.  I remember during one of my training runs before the marathon, having to stop because I started hyperventilating.  I had panicked at the prospect of being newly alone.

Nevertheless when I look at that picture I always feel a certain amount of pride.  Sure enough, I am alone in that photo.  No-one is running by my side.  But I am also out in front, ahead of five men!  I like to think they are looking at me with varying degrees of respect, curiosity, even annoyance that some “girl” was pacing faster than them.  Given that I was, at the time, trying to make it as the only woman partner in a four-partner firm in a thoroughly male-dominated profession, this picture is a perfect visual reminder of what I was facing.  I was running hard, often exhausted but determined and energized as well.  My “aloneness” as a woman made me singular and unique, and definitely attracted attention.

This picture has powered me through many of the difficult times I have inevitably faced in the years after that marathon.  Particularly when I find myself facing something new and unfamiliar, I remind myself that feeling alone and fearful is a necessary consequence of stepping out in front and taking responsibility for my own life.

Taking charge of personal finances is, for many women, an unfamiliar but necessary task.  Their first step should be one of self-empowerment,  looking within to their internal emotional and psychological strengths, before they tackle the business of counting and building their financial assets.  What makes you run?  What sets you apart and keeps you moving forward?  Can you summon up a photo, a mental image, of a time when those internal assets were clearly in evidence?

As women, we know that wealth is never just about dollars, returns, and gains. It’s about our self-worth, and our ability to recognize and memorialize that unique value. But none of that is possible if we don’t commit to taking action. What is it that you’ve had in the back of your mind to do in order to get your financial house in order? What’s standing in your way? Knowledge? Hiring an advisor? Confidence? I would like to encourage you to do what it takes to begin achieving your financial goals. It’s a long way to the finish line of this marathon, but you get there by taking one step at a time.

* Click here to read about the pep talk Eleanor received during her most recent marathon.