We talk a lot at Directions about “Circles” as a way of creating safe space for women to talk about personal finances.  Throughout history, women have congregated in circles not purely for companionship and conversation, but also to do important work.  Yesterday’s sewing circles and quilting bees reappear today as book clubs, investment groups, and giving circles. All share education and helping others as their central purpose.

It’s not the shape, but the spirit of circles, that results in their transformative power.  Simply arranging chairs in a circle, rather than in rows, for a discussion of personal finance is not enough to get women talking about and engaging with a topic they may consider uncomfortable or boring.  What’s more important is the absence of hierarchy in the circle.  There is no one leader who sets the agenda or determines the outcomes of the discussion, nor is the flow of discussion unilateral, from “expert” to participants.

Circles are gently but firmly held.  They are not run.  The caller or organizer of the circle must hold and honor the collective wisdom of the group.  He or she must be able to sit with the questions, even the occasional discomfort, prompted by the discussion, and be willing to accept that more open-ended questions, rather than definitive answers, may indeed be the most important work produced by the circle.

At the same time, a circle does not just happen.  Considerable planning must go into the holding of the circle, starting from the first invitation into the circle, to the harvesting of the circle’s discoveries. Indeed, those proficient in the art and science of hosting conversations refer to circles as a “technology,” thus aligning it with other respected fields where deliberate study, development, and application of techniques come together to produce results.

I learned this in the way that a lot of women learn:  by standing back and watching someone else – a true circle “technologist” — at work.

Let me tell you about my Directions colleague, Elizabeth.  Trained in the art of hosting conversations, she has frequently written and spoken about the circle process for several years, and has used the technique as a governance principle while she was president of the Financial Planning Association.  In September of this year, she – the expert – and I – the novice – hosted two circles, one for advisors and one for women consumers in Atlanta.

Elizabeth is nothing if not a powerfully spontaneous, inspirational leader.  I plod, while Elizabeth soars, as we work together on the vision of Directions.  She’s totally comfortable and articulate “on the spot” and brilliant at taking what is immediately in front of her and organizing it into meaning and direction.

So going into the Atlanta circles, I assumed that Elizabeth would be totally relying on her extemporaneous ease and gift of conversational versatility to run the discussions.  I expected our pre-circle preparation to consist primarily of Elizabeth coaching me to relax, have fun, and be ready to “go with flow.”

Not so.  Elizabeth’s nerves had kicked in well before I even arrived.  My overnight bag was no sooner heaved into her MiniCooper when she announced that we had a lot of work to do, and please not to mind her bossing me around.  We then proceeded to plan for the next ten hours every detail of the circles that would take place:  the set-up, the questions, the transitions, the hand-outs, the timing, who would and wouldn’t speak, who would take notes, harvest the conversations, follow-up with the participants.

During the circles themselves we were busy as stagehands who knew the cues for changing and adjusting the settings, but not necessarily the play that would be performed.  The hardest part, for me at least, was resisting the urge to direct or play a major speaking role and simply listen with intention.  The amazing part was how much I, as a personal finance expert, learned about the many ways money can be experienced in our lives.

I also learned that circle hosting is neither for the intrepid nor the faint of heart.  You need courage to accept the wisdom of the group, even when it looks very different from your own.  At the same time, you need training and guidance – this is not a skill that you acquire simply by doing, but one that should be learned from an experienced practitioner.

We have been hearing from many financial advisors interested in how they can put circle technology to work in their outreach to women.  It’s our intention at Directions to provide guidance and training in this practice, as well as to incorporate the learning that advisors gain from circle practice.  For change that really matters, when it comes to how we talk to and advise women about money, we cannot do this effectively as individuals.  It’s back to the basic premise of circles: we learn better and we learn more when we learn together.

Want to know more? Click here to read another blog about circles by Elizabeth Jetton:
Circles – Listen to Others, Understand Ourselves.