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work-life balance

what does it mean to change the conversation?

by Eleanor Blayney
January 11th, 2011

In light of our subscription program for advisors, we are taking a moment to review some of the basics of our initiative.
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We talk a lot about changing the conversation about personal finance for women.  But why is this important, and what does it mean?

It’s important because women have been underserved by the financial services sector.  Many report being patronized or intimidated by financial advisors. If they are part of a couple, they may feel unheard as a result of the discussion being pitched primarily to their spouses or partners.  Many don’t feel ready for the challenge of personal financial management, having grown up without examples of mothers who worked or who were responsible for the important household financial decisions.

It’s important to change the conversation because women are rapidly gaining in economic power.  They are in the workforce to stay, and have accumulated assets of their own.  They are the inheritors of wealth because of their longer life spans.  To survive and thrive, financial advisors have to figure out better ways of reaching women.  They must realize that the traditional male-defined ways of doing business are not going to work.  Women aren’t that interested in the competitive game of money with its constantly changing roster of winners and losers.  They are interested in what money can do for their families, for their communities and networks, for their lives.

Changing the conversation will involve a shift in emphasis and delivery rather than a wholesale discarding of subject matter.  We still need to talk about investments, debt management, tax reduction, and retirement plans with our clients.   There will still be topics that are technical and complicated – estate planning comes immediately to mind – which we must make sure women understand, even when they are totally uninterested or overwhelmed.

Here are just some of the ways that Directions for Women would like to change the conversation about personal finance:

Advisors would talk to women clients:

  • Less about being rich, more about being enriched
  • Less about price, more about value
  • Less about balance sheets, more about balance
  • Less about transactions, more about engagement
  • Less about financial capital, more about social and human capital

These conversations would take place more often at kitchen tables, and less often in formal conference rooms.  Advisors would tell more life stories, and present fewer graphs and charts.

Most importantly of all, advisors would listen more, and talk less.

Categories Financial Confidence, Personal Finance for Women
Comments (2)

Work-Life Balance: A Zero Sum Game?

by Eleanor Blayney
September 23rd, 2010

It’s Wednesday – my “taking-care-of-Everett” day. I think just about everyone knows by now that Everett is my new and first grandbaby. I simply cannot fight the irrepressible urge to announce this fact to complete strangers on elevators, in airport terminals, even to the cranky cop on the Washington D.C. Beltway, who miraculously became a really nice guy when I pulled out the baby pictures instead of my license from my wallet.

I am a hands-on gramma twice a week. On-knees, too, by the way. On those days, I rise joyfully at 5:30 am to be on time for that first gummy grin as I come in the door. But by 6:00 pm I am worn to a frazzle, outwitted by a 10 month-old who may not know my name but does know perfectly well how to hijack my best-laid plans for the day.

I’ve been told that I am nuts. A friend recently joined me for dinner at the end of an Everett day, and after commenting on the sweet potato appliqué on my sleeve, chided me for my tendency to overcommit and then complain about nonexistent free time. She apparently concluded that I had completely taken leave of my senses, reminding me – a financial planner for over twenty years – “this is what money is for.” In other words, if I was that keen to help my daughter, I could always pay for day care or a nanny.

So why do I give up a chunk of my week to take care of a baby? Apart from the obvious reason – namely, he is far more precious to me than my time – there’s another simple explanation. I do this because I can. Thirty years ago this was not the case. I couldn’t be a full-time mom to my daughter because I had to work at entry-level jobs where someone else controlled my time and priorities. I had to start making and saving the money that at this stage of life allows me to call my own shots about what I do, and when I do it. From nervous, stressed-out new mom, I have evolved into a patient, available grandmother. I am now making up for lost baby-time.

This is not to say that I no longer have to work. My effort to change and improve the way financial planners engage with women has me working ridiculous hours. Passion is a more demanding taskmaster than money. Even on days when I fall prey to the inevitable doubts of a new business owner, the responses we are getting from the planner community and the media keeps me rising at 5:30 am even on non-Everett days.

I’ve learned to juggle – to keep the business balls up in the air while I am cradling my grandson. Monday and Wednesday have become the days for phone calls, emails, even a rare few minutes snatched during naptime for writing. I’ve given interviews, too, as long as they are not radio spots, given the inevitable squawks and babbles that punctuate my professional commentary.

Which brings me to another important reason I take care of a baby; I need to experience again, this time from an older and wiser perspective, the work-life “balance” that so many women try to pursue. This balance – actually “contest” seems the better word – is to my mind a predominantly female issue that powerfully impacts a woman’s financial planning and security.

Career-track vs. mommy-track – the debate is heated about which is the “right thing to do.” I am entirely neutral on this issue, as long as women fully understand the cost and benefits of their choices, and ways to change the equation in their favor. How many young women are aware, for example, of the research that supports the positive lifetime income effects of delaying having a baby by just a year or two? How many women are putting household income aside or insisting on setting up spousal IRAs to compensate for their lost earnings?

More than that, how many women are trying to find ways where work-life is not such an either-or proposition, but is something that really can be balanced? The number of women-owned businesses is on the rise; for many, what drives these women to open their own shops is the absence of flexibility and presence of glass-ceilings that still prevail in the traditional workplace. Other women are learning how to ask for the higher salaries they deserve, as a way to make child-care more affordable. Still other women are discriminating in favor of companies that honestly pursue female-friendly workplace policies, such as flextime, telecommuting, and shared sick leave.

As women, we need to convince ourselves and others that work-life balance does not invariably mean sacrificing both. Just because we must leave the office at 5:00 pm sharp to be at the daycare by 6:00 does not make us less ambitious or less valuable than the colleague who opens the door for the boss in the morning and is the last one in the office at night.

This is not an easy task. Even kind, open-minded employers tend to regard with skepticism a young woman candidate of childbearing age, assuming she will be “gone” in a year or two after she is hired. These employers may need reminding that Fortune 500 companies with true gender diversity among their executives had a return on equity 34 percent higher than those companies with the least diversity. (Click here to read about this study and other research confirming the trend.) They also need reminding of what you can do, what you have done, and what you will do to benefit the company. Toot your own horn in a positive, team-minded way. Own your contribution and your successes. Make yourself indispensable. If you need a bit of coaching, check out Catalyst.org and WomensMedia.org, two excellent websites dedicated to the advancement of women in the workplace.

And remember, all this you can do without showering or changing out of your sweat pants.

Categories Motherhood, Personal Finance for Women, Women work
Comments (1)

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